I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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