Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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