new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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