i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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