please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize