I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize