i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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