Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize