the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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