Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize