No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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