I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
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i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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