thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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