My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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