I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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