Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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