ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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