Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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