I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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