oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize