I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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