Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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