she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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