2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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