i may or may not be watching the land before time
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize