Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize