did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize