I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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