Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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