he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize