were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize