New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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