the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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