So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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