if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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