just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
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I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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