you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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