I hate your face
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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