8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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