Im at strip club and am horny
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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