I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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