Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize