I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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