You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize