You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
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You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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