Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
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the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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