I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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