hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize