I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
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Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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