I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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