Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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