Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
