just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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