I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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